Disappointments...
Current mood: crappy

The last few years have been filled with so many disappointments.  Back in 2002 I poured everything I had - energy and finances - into a c.d. that I'd hoped would push me into 'serious musician' status, only to have my dream band line-up fall apart (DISOLVE is more like it) immediately after the c.d. release party.  I moved down to Brunswick with a hook already in my cheek of what looked to be a likely 'dream position' at a local church, only to have it - also - disolve out from under me, then settling for one of the roughest jobs I have ever had, working un-ending hours for little pay and with no appreciation from my management.  A few other totally exciting ministry positions opened up - both EXACTLY what I wanted to throw myself into, and both went to others.  I have a solid job now - the hours are good, and it pays the bills (barely) - a beautiful wife and son, but still can't help but mourn (and feel guilty for it) the many disappointments life has brought.  I've got c.d.'s I want to record, books I want to write (and read), but the pressures of daily life make little time for those things - even though daily life is still, generally, good.

My passion is music and discipleship, yet I've hardly time to even volunteer to do such things because I have to dedicate every second to making $ to pay the bills...

So then it's hard to feel this way, knowing that many have it so much worse.  Much of the world is starving still - in poverty so deep that they don't even own clothing - in permanent fear for their lives.  So I feel guilty for feeling disappointed.  Grrr...

Maybe I just need to feel as though I'm having an impact somewhere...

Understanding Culture...

I'm listening to a sermon/teaching from "Reform & Resurge" Conference 2006 called 'Understanding Culture'.  Though I've lived in Glynn County for the past 3 years, I still can't say that I understand the culture here as I did the culture of Athens, GA or Athens, OH.  So, I'd love ya'll to help me out...for those on my list who have lived 10 years in Glynn County, could you please - in a response to this blog - define the 'culture' of St. Simons Island/Brunswick as best you can.  Please specify whether your primary experience growing up was in Brunswick, St. Simons Island, Sea Island, or Jekyll - which school you are going to/went to - what styles of music - what 'after-hours' life was like - what you were looking for, disappointments...just tell me about life in the Golden Isles.  Thank you for your participation - I do appreciate it.

Quotes from recent readings...

A few profound quotes from the books I've been reading (or re-reading) as of late...

"The gospel isn't one class among many that you'll attend during you life as a Christian - the gospel is the whole building where all the classes take place!"
-Living the Cross Centered Life by C.J. Mahaney

"The Spirit can lead the advanced planning of a service as easily as he can break in, unannounced, during the course of liturgy.  It's true that a rigid and inflexible commitment to 'order' can breed lifeless ritual.  But it's equally possible for an agenda lacking shape or direction to breed chaos and an absence of theological substance.  A preacher cna experience a powerful anointing on Thursday afternoon, while prayerfully writing a sermon, no less than he can on Sunday morning as the Spirit imparts insights heretofore unseen."  - Convergence by Sam Storms

"...there is no secular, if by 'secular' we mean 'neutral' or 'uncommitted'; instead, the supposedly neutral public spaces that we inhabit - in the academy or politics - are temples of other gods that cannot be served alongside Christ."  "Secular modernity, despite all its protests and pretentions to the contrary, is deeply religious and fundamentally theological... Modernity, while claiming to be secular, and therefore religiously neutral, is in fact governed by (ulitmately religious) assumptions that are 'no more rationally justifiable than the Christian positions themselves', and the shape of these assumptions indicates a certain perverse debt to Christianity, such that secular modernity - and secular social theory in particular - is undergirded by a heterodox theology. ...Secular theory, then, is supported not by a neutral, universal rationality (as it claims) but by 'simply another mythos,' an alternative confession."  - Introducing Radical Orthodoxy by James K.A. Smith.

"One of the deleterious feasures of a revivalist mentality is that short of what might be termed a supriseing manifestation of God there is very little else to be getting on with.  Whole sections of legitimate church activity are held in suspense, and, moreover, deemed a failure simply because they fall short of revival criteria.  Commitment to spiritual formation, on the other hand, takes seriuosly the fact that there are indeed seasons in the Christian journey, both personal and corporate, and that intense fervour is not sustainable, nor even necessarily required, in order for Christian living to occur."  "Immediacy, which is so prized by revivalists, degenerates into tiresome repetition and subjectivity, fostering a spirituality of fear and even despair, for there are none who can live up to the decisive surrender except the few outstanding saints of Protestant hagiography.  What it perpetuates, therefore, is the cyclical pattern of defeat, prayer and revival, which is so much a hallmark of revivalistic spirituality." - The Gospel-Driven Church by Ian Stackhouse

Dreams...
Current mood: contemplative

I have a dream.  It is not the same dream as that of MLK, though his was a great one.  My dream, however, is muli-fold - complex - but simple at heart.  I want to see Glynn County 'sold out' for Jesus.  Usually when I meet people that claim to be 'sold out' that word would seem to mean 'silly'.  That's not what I mean at all.  I want to see, starting with myself, true worshipper (in the Holy Spirit - the experience of God through his gifts - all of which are miraculous even if some seem dull - and fruit, which the gifts are pointless without - and in the Truth, submitting their minds to Christ as they do everything else) that are true disciples of Christ - sitting at the feet of Jesus ready to push their minds, hearts, and LIVES to the wall for him, and are satisfied only by knowing God's smile.  I want to see the Gospel - the real, unadulterated, radical Gospel - change Glynn County.  That begins by changing minds - everything we do is determined by what we feel, and our feelings are often guided by what we believe/think about things.  That is how we'll find and become true worshippers - giving, first, our minds over to Jesus, to see his hand in EVERYTHING, and catch a vision of Him that makes us long to be, and start us on a path to becoming, just like Him: sacrificial, truth-telling, grace-ful, and ALIVE.  I don't know how God's going to do it, or what part I - or you - will play in this...but that is my dream.

New Music

For the past year there has been a lull in good, new, congregational, worship music.  Sure, Vineyard's "Sweetly Broken", Passion's "Everything Glorious" and Desperation Band's "Who You Are" all have a song here and there, but generally there has been nothing released that across the board, lyrically and musically just drops me to my knees.  Well, now I've hope. 
Vineyard Music pre-releases, sorta as a test, original songs from their various churches around the country - the songs that seem to catch on end up on future releases: these pre-release cd's are known as 'club vineyard'.  Well, the last two club vineyards - "Saving Grace" and "Bless Your Name" are chock full of POWERFUL - and I do mean POWER-FULL - new worship songs.  God directed, Biblical, congregational, rockin' praise & worship.  Anyway - I'm very excited to see what ends up on their next national release, and in the meanwhile I'm very tempted to subscribe to Club Vineyard.  Blessings...

Currently listening: Sweetly Broken By Sweetly Broken Release date: By 31 December, 2025

Podcasts

Have you discovered podcasts yet?  It has been an excellent source of encouragement and spiritual strength for me this past year.  If you have iTunes on your computer you can subscribe to podcasts for free, and daily your computer will download and update with new sermons/teachings by your favorite pastors.  If you've not tried it yet, here are a few that have really been important in my life - I pray that encourage you as well.  Check them out:
Covenant Life Church (Joshua Harris/C.J. Mahaney)
Desiring God Radio (John Piper)
Elevate Podcast (Drew Thompson)
Just Thinking (Ravi Zacharius)
Mars Hill Church (Mark Driscoll)
Mosaic (Erwin McManus)
Resurgence (various)
St. Simons Community Church (David Yarborough)
Vineyard Church of Columbus (Rich Nathan)

My very favorite is Driscoll's or Piper's, but just subscribe to one and listen when you're doing something mindless.  Blessings...